It had taken Markin Tejnu a mere twenty eight years to achieve, but now he could say that he truly had a place for his every mood and need. Was he feeling bitchy? Needing to gossip, to shred a few reputations, learn who was fucking who and with what accessories? Then he had only to call Meferil Kahn, minister’s wife, young, pretty and bored, for an afternoon of refined hefi drinking and less refined toe sucking, and he barely needed his talent to get the information. How about contemplative? Then it was the ruins of old Ursiq, a long and pleasant drive up the coast, that was called for. There, he could sit on the slabs of granite and admire the still graceful dome of the Academy, and wonder what this old capital had been like in the days before vahns and airships, and the destruction of the port which had led to the downfall of the original builders of the city.
If he was in need of mental stimulation, he had even more choices – his official job, of course, kept him busy, but when he got tired of code and numbers and systems, and just wanted to touch a pure intellect, there was Mori. Always Mori – calm, open, always enquiring Mori, with his deep, beautiful voice and exquisite mind. In the right mood, when he could accept what Mori could offer, it was a balm on Tejnu’s heart to be in their house, the one they had designed together and called home for nearly nine years. There he would sit as Mori invoked the rituals, recited the words and names while Tejnu listened and connected with the spirits of those of their kind, the true inheritors of the human heart. At times like that, he felt as close to Mori as he could possibly get and it warmed him. Those were rare moments, blessed moments, and Tejnu...only wished he could find that to be enough for him.
But it wasn’t, and so he had other needs, other places to find, when his mood turned vicious, his thoughts darkened and embittered. On nights like this, forced against the implacable wall of Mori’s perfect control and resolve, what he wanted – what he needed – was to beat the living crap out of someone. And of course, he had the perfect place for that too.
He dressed to get a reaction, a pointless exercise when it was Mori he was looking for a reaction from. It wasn’t that Mori didn’t see the leather and the wrist guards, or didn’t know what the symbols hanging from Tejnu’s ear and painted on his cheeks meant, or even what Tejnu was planning to get up to. Mori just thought it was Tejnu’s business, and nothing to comment on, which drove Tejnu crazier and crazier as the years went by and he could never get the slightest hook into the tiniest crack in Cowdem Moriakei’s perfect control, make him stutter or protest or even whisper the mildest, “Are you sure about this, Teji?” as Tejnu headed to the door with lust and fire scorching along his veins, looking for trouble and bound to find it. Mori trusted him, which was a compliment beyond price – but just once, Tejnu wished he would question that trust, not let him pass with nothing but a slight smile and a quiet ‘good hunting’ as if Tejnu wanted to be screwing some random stranger in a club or a hotel, and not having his brains turned to water by Mori’s skilful lovemaking. Not that he got much of that these days, but he lived on memories, and hope, and raw, raw need that Mori....
That Mori knew about, cared about – even sympathised with him over – and yet did nothing to assuage because there was a gulf between them made of circumstance and fate and choices freely made years before. Mori lived at a different level, and Tejnu, staring up from below, could only long for what he could not have. And then head to his special place and inflict all kinds of torment on perfectly willing empty ones, hating them and their vacuous minds, their leaden spirits and their arrogant assumptions, because loving Mori was all kinds of agony and Tejnu didn’t see why he shouldn’t spread the pain around.
The music spilling out from the bars along the street, harsh, loud, dissonant, fit his mood perfectly as he left the vahn and walked towards the club. He felt the familiar tightening at the base of his belly, the quickening of his heart rate as he was ushered through the doors of Jlala, barely acknowledging the respectful bows from the attendant for one of their best known doms, a celebrity in his own special world. Inside, the sounds were different – still loud, but the music here was deeper, smokier. He stopped for a moment, inhaled, let the beat and the throb fill him, hit his chest like a caressing blow. His place. His kingdom. And tonight, he would hunt.
The commotion his arrival caused was familiar, and he let people scurry about to accommodate him, knowing he didn’t have to make his wishes explicit. Subs knew to keep back until he was ready, the waiters came to him first, and his preferred booth was always ready for him, even if it meant some lesser creature had to be hastily evicted. He had absolutely no conscience over using his reputation this way – the club needed people like him to keep the eager young seekers coming in, and he had trained no few of the doms who were also part of the attraction here. He was simply collecting on the debt he was owed, and tonight, he planned to take back a bit of what he had given over the years. Tonight was going to be about him.
An ice-cold glass of qozo was placed before him with a bow. He sipped it, enjoying the bitter, medicinal taste on his tongue, and looked through heavy-lidded eyes at the crowd of pretty people milling around below on the floor under the flickering red lighting. At the end of the room, on another platform at the same height as Tejnu’s booth, a band was playing – it was a feature of the club to always have live music, but Tejnu often wondered why they bothered. People didn’t come here for the music, but he supposed it was like the leather seats, the erotic sculptures, the theatrical, obscured lighting – all intended to give a sense of occasion, of a special, intimate place. For him, these things mattered little – he was more interested in what the tide brought in, what potential playmates he might find among the hopeful seekers. Later, he would go down among them, brush against them and their laughably open thoughts, reel in anything that smelled good. But for now, he just watched. He sat with his legs sprawled, one hand resting on his crotch, a thumb hooked in the waist of his leather trousers. Subtle, it wasn’t, but he didn’t need to be subtle yet.
It was busy, but it was always busy, and he had long ago learned to tune out the noise, the music and the waves of conversation, to concentrate on small things, individual features which caught his eye. Hmmm – now that was nice. Lovely legs, and the paint on her belly was nicely done – he didn’t recognise the artist. He’d have to find out, see if they could do some work for him. She was new to the club, he thought, but not new to the scene, of that he was sure. She wasn’t making the usual mistakes – she was demure without being abject, knew how to draw attention to her breasts without being obvious. He made a note, even though her dom was at her side – she might do for later, if he couldn’t get someone less obviously breakable to wear out first. Pretty female subs were a bit too fragile for what he had in mind, and tended to cry and complain in a way that pissed him off when he got a bit too rough. Pretty boys were worse. No – for what he needed tonight, he needed someone who was in a mood to be broken and broken hard.
He sensed someone coming up to his side, but waited until the man came around in front of him and bowed. “Master Tejnu, a pleasure as always.”
Tejnu put his booted foot up on the table and raised his glass lazily in acknowledgement of the club owner. Palen was a friend, and this was for show, but the show was important too. “Palen,” he said briefly. “Ziko in?”
“Yes, and he asked if you’d drop by if you came in and had the time.” Tejnu lifted an eyebrow – Ziko should come to him. “He’s got a sub that you might be interested in playing with. Something...rather special.”
“Special, how?”
Palen smirked. “Best you see for yourself, Master Tejnu.” He jerked a thumb towards the playrooms in the back. “Number Five. He’s got quite the audience.”
Tejnu nearly growled. This wasn’t what he’d come here for, to trail around after Ziko and watch him play. Ziko was good, and they’d tag-teamed on subs any number of times, but Tejnu had neither the patience nor the inclination to share tonight. “How lovely,” he said in a flat tone, hoping Palen would pick up on his displeasure.
“Your loss,” Palen said, his smile disappearing. “Would you like another?” he said more politely, gesturing at Tejnu’s glass.
“Not yet.” Tejnu stared at him coldly until Palen shrugged a little and walked away. Idiot empty one, Tejnu thought, scowling. Did the man have no idea of the way things were supposed to go? Ziko was Tejnu’s junior, trained by him personally – an empty one, but not as stupid as most, and Tejnu had long ago accepted the necessity of dealing with the things – but if Ziko had something to show his master, then he should come to him personally.
His temper even more foul than when he’d walked in, Tejnu considered leaving, calling up one of his more private playmates and asking if they fancied something a little spicier than usual. But he didn’t trust himself tonight – damn Mori and his careful, constant resistance to Tejnu’s desires – and knew he wasn’t safe to inflict on a lover one on one. So instead he sat and scowled at the subs circulating below, the ones who glanced up hopefully and looked back down with embarrassed smiles.
He drank more of his qozo but the bitter taste now seemed a little nauseating, so he set it aside with a snarl. He made himself focus on who he wanted for his playmate tonight and absolutely refused to think about Room Number Five.
After twenty minutes of this, he knew he either had to leave, or go satisfy his annoying curiosity. He promised himself he would make Palen pay for this – and Ziko – as he swung his leg off the table and stood up, carefully not giving anyone the pleasure of thinking that he was in the least bit of a hurry. And he wasn’t – he was too busy being angry.
There was a crowd in front of Number Five, all craning forward eagerly, mouths slightly agape. One or two people were even licking their lips. He couldn’t see what they were looking at – he used his talent to get the attention of the creatures at the rear, and once they realised who they were blocking, the group parted like a wave. He walked to the front, his expression studiously bored, and expecting....
Not this. Not this at all, he thought as he walked up to the platform, and then slowly around the bound man. Oh, the strappado was nothing unusual, though the rope bindings were a nice touch, red cord bisecting pale skin, over a broad chest and firm pectorals, between pink nipples and around a well-defined ribcage. Ziko always did have an eye for body placement which Tejnu hadn’t had to teach him at all, but it wasn’t that which grabbed Tejnu’s attention. It wasn’t even the beauty of the man in the bonds, all coppery hair and arching cheek bones, straining hard against the tight leather bonds, his arms twisted up behind, shoulders wrenching painfully, long legs parted and tense, firm arse spread and exposed to Ziko’s leering gaze. Nor was it the hard muscled size of him – bloody hell, though, he really was huge, and if Ziko had had to fight him into the restraints, it would have been a joke. But Tejnu only noted all this for later, because what made him stop, his breath catching in his chest, was the ugly black tattoo defacing the man’s right hand, harsh lines and unforgiving curves spreading down to clenching fingers, a mark of ownership and submission that had nothing to do with kink at all.
The Dual Soul. What was he doing here? As Tejnu stood and stared, hardly able to believe who he was looking at, rage slowly building that any of these gawping empty ones dared put their hands on this precious creature, another idiot stepped up eagerly, cock in hand, and thrust his hips towards the blindfolded face, a smirk on his disgusting lips. The captive made a soft, almost choking sound, but took what was offered, his beautiful lips enveloping the cock and beginning to work on it, as the tendons stood out stark on his long neck, and every muscle in his body bunched, as if he wanted to run or fight but couldn’t allow it.
It was standard stuff – forced service, humiliation – but something was very, very off here. It took Tejnu a few seconds to realise exactly what – the sub wasn’t hard, wasn’t remotely turned on, and without that, what was happening was very little different from rape. Yet Ziko hadn’t noticed, or hadn’t cared – he was watching ‘his’ submissive service the stranger with every appearance of satisfaction. Tejnu fought back the impulse to slap him for his stupidity, and instead, schooled his features into bored coolness. “This is what you dragged me back here for?” he drawled, though he kept his voice low for Ziko’s ears alone.
Ziko swallowed. “Master Tejnu, I never meant to...I thought you’d like to see.”
“I don’t like invitations couched in that manner, Ziko. I’ll forgive you this once.” He laid an apparently forgiving hand on Ziko’s arm, and pushed past the man’s relief and confusion, and yes, resentment that Tejnu was being a prick, but Tejnu could hardly punish him for thoughts Tejnu wasn’t supposed to be aware of. He was looking for...yes.
Ziko looked up at the slight murmur that ran through the crowd, and knew immediately what had caught their eye. Fucking Epsis, now this didn’t walk into the club every night. If he wasn’t the tallest man Ziko had ever seen, it wasn’t by much, but he moved easily, the grace of a dancer, or an athlete. Dancer more likely – that hair surely wasn’t his real colour, so maybe he was a performer of some sort. He didn’t seem to like the attention he was getting, but what the hell did he expect, dressed like that? It was barely legal, and Ziko could only assume he’d worn a coat in the street. His face and body were bare of paint, but he was wearing a wrist band and earring that Ziko recognised as Pindoni sub/hard scene codes – so exotic in every sense, by the look of it. Heads turned as the guy walked through the club towards the bar, but Ziko didn’t show any interest, only glancing occasionally over at the guy as he ordered a drink, then went to sit at a table. Ziko was curious to know how people were going to react – he’d sit and observe for a bit, before he made his move.
Others were less patient. Fucking Tezil – trust him not to give the guy a chance to look over the place first. Ziko watched the two speak, and Tezil do his usual ‘I am the world’s most domliest dom and all subs will bow before me’ crap. To his amazement, the guy actually seemed to be listening, nodding, his expression thoughtful – and Ziko didn’t miss the hopeful arrogance in Tezil’s face. But then, just like that, the guy turned Tezil away – no raised words, no hostility, just a polite dismissal that left Tezil’s face like thunder. Didn’t even have enough self-respect to hide the fact he’d been turned down by a newbie either. Ziko caught his arm as he stalked past. “Problem?”
“Arrogant shit. Wasn’t ‘sure’,” Tezil said, making the quotes with his fingers, “I could give him enough fight to make it real.”
“He’s a big guy,” Ziko murmured. So the sub wasn’t an idiot – nice to know.
“I’ve taken down bigger,” Tezil said, throwing his skinny chest out.
Yeah, right, Ziko thought, smirking into his drink. “What’s he looking for?”
“Pain, humiliation, bondage.” Tezil looked like he was going to spit at Ziko’s foot. “Thinks he’s Epsis’ gift.”
“Oh, one of those,” Ziko agreed politely. As he commiserated with the fool, a woman approached the guy. She seemed to catch his interest and the two spoke for some time. Again the guy’s face was solemn, and he appeared to be concentrating hard. She held his hand and peered into his face – looked more like a counselling session than a negotiation. Finally she patted his hand and shook her head. He smiled up at her as she stood, but as soon as her back was turned, his expression fell, his disappointment obvious. Wela was a smart dom – if she didn’t think she could offer a sub what they were after, she always backed off before either party got angry or offended. But she specialised in humiliation – what was this guy after that she couldn’t give?
Ziko gave it a few more minutes. No one else came near the guy, though there was a lot of attention, people standing and whispering. The guy wasn’t oblivious, that was for sure, judging from the thinned lips and the muscle jumping in his jaw. To be honest, Ziko expected him to walk out – he wasn’t getting much of a welcome, and Tezil had spread the word. The doms were avoiding the guy, and the subs knew better than to show friendship to someone being shunned.
Ridiculous. The man was a god walking, and Ziko wasn’t going to waste a chance like this. He finished his drink in his own good time, then ordered another, and one of what the guy was drinking, telling the waiter to bring it to the table. He sauntered over, sat down as the drinks were set before him. “Hi. I hear you’re a bit of a prick.”
“Is that right?” the guy said, smiling humourlessly. “The Weadenal always this friendly to strangers?”
“No, but I think some of us don’t know what to make of you.” He picked up his drink, nudged the other glass over to the guy. “Me, I’d just like to hear it from you, what you’re looking for. I got plenty of time.” He leaned back in his chair and took a sip. He wondered if the guy would accept the drink and the opening.
The guy picked up the fresh glass. “Thank you, master,” he said formally, and Ziko nodded graciously, approving the manners. “I didn’t mean to offend the other one.”
“Don’t worry about it, these things happen, you know that.” He closed his fingers over the guy’s wristband, over the studs and chains, pressed his thumb down hard on the red arrowed symbol that was asking for a world of pain. “ Now, why don’t you tell me what your fantasies are, and I’ll let you know what I can do for you.”
Ziko was a fool, Tejnu thought impatiently. Hadn’t it occurred to him to ask what the hell brought someone like this here?
A noise to the side – the sub had completed his task, and was choking the come down. Looked on the verge of vomiting, to Tejnu’s eyes, but then he got himself under control, though his long fingers were furling and unfurling almost convulsively behind him. “How long?” Tejnu asked Ziko quietly.
“About an hour. He said he could do this all night.”
“How very dull.” And what a waste, Tejnu thought in disgust. “Do you mind...?”
Ziko bowed, one eye on the watching crowd. “My honour, Master Tejnu. Do as you wish. We’re at your service.”
Too bloody right, Tejnu thought, waving back the idiot who’d just been serviced by this beautiful man, who was still standing there like his limp cock was of any interest to anyone. He waited until it was just the three of them on the platform, the people at the doorway leaning in expectantly. He ignored them, as he slowly walked around the bound captive. The man was straining, trying to see through the blindfold, his breath coming in harsh pants, nostrils flaring. Ziko probably thought it was arousal, but even before Tejnu laid a hand on the sub, he knew it wasn’t. He brushed back the damp red hair, and cupped the flushed cheek, felt the rapid pulse under the jaw, and very carefully tried not to react to the overwhelming fear he felt rushing up from the man. He stroked the cheek with his thumb, gentling, reading the man’s thoughts and trying to untangle them, but it was almost impossible to make sense of them – a crush of images, emotions, names, faces. Through it all was terror, and behind that, anger, revulsion, disgust, and soul-deep pain.
Why are you here, sweet one? Tejnu wondered, and probed deeper, seeking the reason for this unerotic masochism. He almost gasped as he suddenly found the memories, felt his legs going out from him. Ancestors...could anyone have really endured...? Yes, yes they could, he realised, gut lurching, his gorge rising unbearably. Tejnu shook his head to try and clear it. He wished he could unknow what he had just learned. Dangerous to show such emotion in front of an empath, but the man was lost in his own churning feelings, oblivious to everything and everyone else.
“Master?”
Ziko grabbed his arm. Tejnu snapped off a glare and told the man with his eyes to back the fuck off. Ziko retreated. Tejnu turned back to the sub, and reached into his memory for the name – Ren. Ziko probably had no idea Ren was even a paranormal. The Pindoni tattoo system wasn’t unknown in the Weadenal, but even most local talents weren’t able to distinguish one from the other, and this one was customised. Unique, in fact.
Tejnu crouched so he was almost face to face with the sub. Almost, because even bent over like his, the guy came nearly up to his shoulder. So much power and strength, Tejnu marvelled. Someone this beautiful deserved much better. He slipped the blindfold off, not caring if Ziko minded – had the man not just given him explicit permission to take this scene where he wanted? The guy blinked in the bright light, wide green eyes full of tears and anger, staring up at him. Tejnu got a fist full of red hair and jerked carefully. “Quite the cocksucker, aren’t you, boy?” he said, and got an immediate sorrowful memory of another man – Dek – saying those words. So he had a lover, or a dom – where was the bastard? Tejnu forced himself to concentrate. “We’re not running a brothel, boy. People come here for pain, not sex. You like pain?” He tugged the hair he held a little, as a bright surge of yes ran through the man’s thoughts, followed by confused guilty grief, images of a dark-haired man and a young girl’s face mixing over and over in a jumble. You’re a hell of a mess, sweet one, Tejnu thought, then looked over to Ziko, who was watching them both rather warily. “He wants to suffer, Ziko. He’s too comfortable.”
Ziko gave him a feral smile, and then took a riding crop off the stand near the wall. “How many?”
Tejnu stared into Ren’s green eyes, saw the desperation. “Until I tell you to stop. Make them hard.”
Ren shuddered as Ziko gave him the first blow, hardly a vicious one, but then Ziko knew his business and how to bring up the intensity. Ren wanted more, immediately, harder, flaring need in his thoughts and his eyes, but Tejnu wasn’t going to change his orders. Instead he held Ren’s head up by hair and hand under his chin, forcing him to look up, to watch Tejnu’s face as Tejnu watched him. With anyone else, he’d not do this – he’d be fucking their face, or teasing their cock, or tormenting them. But this wasn’t about sex, it was about relief, and when one of their kind was suffering, they all suffered. So Tejnu watched, thumbing away the pain tears, inhaling the sharp gasps as each blow landed, reading Ren’s thoughts and waiting, waiting for the wall to crack and the man to get what he had really been looking for when he’d come in that evening.
It took a long time – too long – and Ziko was worried, glancing at Tejnu between each blow, waiting for him to call a halt. Tejnu wouldn’t tell him to stop, though. Even the beating wasn’t enough, though Ren was begging him silently with those eyes to keep going, as he tugged against the strappado, wrenching his shoulders beyond all sane limits, trying to make it more intense. Tejnu nudged him a little to help the process along, but only a little because the man had suffered too much at the hand of his kind, and there was a fine line between what they were about here, and real torture. It seemed to be working for him, though – his thoughts were all aligning, made clearer by the sharp, insistent pain, and Tejnu could feel the man’s stress levels going down which was how it was supposed to work, only there should have been pleasure there, somewhere, and there wasn’t. Which was wrong because Tejnu knew this was something Ren had once enjoyed and now could not. He’d been broken, and how he’d been broken made Tejnu seethe.
When the shattering came, there was no warning – one second, Ren was gasping and straining and staring into Tejnu’s eyes, and the next...he was weeping, his body limp, eyes still wide and horrified looking, but all the tension in that huge body just gone, all the fight emptied from him. Tejnu kept his head supported and looked up at Ziko, who nodded and laid the crop aside. “Good, good,” Tejnu crooned quietly, stroking his thumbs across those pretty cheekbones, hearing the grief and pain crashing down in Ren’s mind, and feeling the release from agony that he had craved, that wouldn’t last long enough, but with all the burden Ren was carrying, even a little was precious. He let Ren rest against his shoulder, waiting for the right time to get Ziko to cut him down, not wanting to eat into the hard won peace but not wanting him to freak when he came down and realised he was still restrained.
But then Ren stiffened, a bright bolt of panic running through him, and Tejnu couldn’t work out what was happening until he looked up again and saw Ziko was easing his cock into Ren’s arse. He almost snapped at him to knock it off, but then remembered where he was, where they were, that this had been negotiated between them, and that Ziko had a right to it. Ren had agreed – but hadn’t thought it through, hadn’t realised what it would really mean to be fucked by a stranger while tied up like this. Tejnu hung on, sent subtle soothing impulses through the other man, and hoped Ziko would come sooner rather than later.
Blessedly, it was over in a few seconds – Ziko had been revved up for a while, and didn’t seem to want to drag it out. He pulled out with a slightly obscene pop, then patted Ren’s arse in an affectionate fashion, before reaching over for a cloth and beginning to wipe himself down, looking rather pleased with himself. “Very nice, boy. Thank you.”
Ren lifted his head, stared blindly, confused at Tejnu’s presence in front of him. “Uh...thank you, sir.”
“Ziko, let’s take him down,” Tejnu said, trying not to sound as impatient as he felt. He glared at the crowd at the doorway. “Show’s over, people.” He kept up the cold stare until every last one of them had drifted away. By then, Ziko had sliced away most of the binding cords, and was starting to undo the leather straps. Tejnu left him to it, concentrating on Ren himself, keeping up the gentle murmuring and the petting, reassuring. He was worried – Ren seemed awfully out of it for a scene that wasn’t particularly intense. When Ziko undid the last strap, Tejnu had to catch Ren to stop him falling. “Blanket,” he snapped at Ziko, as he helped Ren down to the floor. The man huddled, his knees pulled under his chin, but he wasn’t moving easily or with much comprehension.
Ziko settled a soft throw around Ren’s shivering shoulders, then crouched. “Hey, you all right?” he said quietly, touching Ren’s face. The man flinched. “Shhh, it’s over.”
“Ziko, I better take care of him – no one’s here for him?” Tejnu knew the answer, but asked because he wasn’t supposed to. Ziko shook his head. “Then I’ll make sure he gets home. Where are his clothes?”
“In the locker,” he said, nodding over at the corner cabinet. “Do you want me to...?”
“No, just leave me with him, and shut the door. Get a warm drink sent around, something sweet.”
Ziko knew the drill. He stroked a careful hand through Ren’s hair as he stood up – this time, Ren didn’t react. “Man, you’re good. Beautiful. Thanks for the ride.”
Ren mumbled something and turned his face up to look at his playmate, his eyes still hazy and confused. Ziko only smiled – Tejnu knew that Ziko didn’t realise this wasn’t just subspace, and that he thought it had all been wonderful for Ren. “See you next time you’re in,” he smirked, then sauntered out. Tejnu scowled, and hoped he’d break a toe on the stairs or something.
Ren was still shivering, closed in on himself. His thoughts were incoherent, what there were of them, but there wasn’t the bright flaring misery Tejnu had first detected in him. The scene, however incompetent, had given him something of what he was looking for. The problem was, Tejnu knew, it wasn’t enough. Never could be enough. But right now, Ren wasn’t ready to be told that.
Tejnu waited patiently for what felt like half an hour or more – the warm drink was delivered and left respectfully on a table near the door, but Tejnu made it clear he did not want to be disturbed, and the club servants left them to it. The floor was hard and the position was uncomfortable, but Tejnu only distantly noted these facts, while he concentrated on helping this amazing individual – the Dual soul, by the Ancestors! – come down safely.
At last, Ren sort of shook himself and looked up blearily. “Uh...who the hell are you? Where’s...?”He halted, as if Ziko’s name had escaped him.
“I’m Teji – Ziko’s master. I thought...someone more experienced might be better for you. I can fetch him if you prefer.”
“No....” Ren’s voice was rusty and old, like he was dredging it up from a great depth. He seemed to realise he was mostly naked, and with a stranger, and withdrew into himself. “I...uh...should get going....”
“Take your time. Ziko arranged jilaj for you,” Tejnu lied smoothly, rising to fetch the tray. “You should drink it. Energy and warmth.”
Expression wary, Ren accepted the mug with shaky hands, then sipped it. Tejnu fancied something eased as he realised the drink was exactly what Tejnu had said it was. “You do this for all his subs?”
“No. No offence, my friend, but you were losing it pretty badly there.”
Ren grimaced, and set the mug down. “Just subspace. You’ve seen it before.”
“Well, yes, but a responsible dom likes to make sure that the sub comes out of it well. How do you feel?”
Ren rolled his shoulders, cricked his neck. “Okay. I can probably....” He tried to get up, and fell back on obviously wobbly legs. “Or not.” He gave Tejnu an embarrassed look, as if he really wasn’t usually this clumsy.
Tejnu smiled reassuringly. “Give it a bit. No one’s in a hurry.” And he wasn’t, Tejnu realised – he’d come to the club in a hell of a temper, but not a trace of it remained. How very odd – that had never happened before. “You’re on vacation? From Pindone?”
Ren jerked as if he’d just noticed Tejnu’s accent and that the man talking to him wasn’t in fact from his own country. “Yeah. Took a week’s leave....”
“And you decided to grace this unworthy hovel with your spectacular presence. We’re grateful,” Tejnu said solemnly, but with a little smile to show he wasn’t being rude. Ren stared and then his mouth quirked a little – no offence taken. “Your dom...didn’t come with you?”
“No dom. Don’t like being tied down...not like that,” he corrected as Tejnu raised an eyebrow. He picked up his drink and made a determined effort to finish it, wincing a little as he swallowed the cooling liquid.
“Well, that’s a waste, for sure,” Tejnu said lightly, and cursed this ‘Dek’ who filled Ren’s thoughts and made him so sad.
Ren was trying to stand again, and this time, Tejnu offered him his arm. “Thanks,” Ren said gruffly. “Um...clothes?”
Tejnu fetched them and suppressed a sigh as Ren dressed. What a magnificent creature – but an abused one, going by the scars. Tejnu hadn’t got the whole story out of Ren’s head, but he figured the marks on arms and thigh had something to do with why Ren was so screwed up. “Need a lift? I have a vahn and personal driver waiting for me.” Ren blinked in surprise. “Rich boyfriend, money no object,” he explained, enjoying the confusion on Ren’s face. “Do you really feel like trying to snag a lift right now?”
“No...Teji, I should warn you – I’m military. If anything happens to me....”
Tejnu made a disgusted noise. “Oh please – I do know what that tattoo means, and besides, I could have molested you three times already and you’d not have made a move to stop me. Can’t you tell I mean no harm?” he said, gesturing at Ren’s hand and the mark of his talent.
Ren twitched in surprise. “Uh...yeah, I can. Sorry – habit. I...um...haven’t been here before.”
“The Weadenal or Liovinq?”
“Either.”
Tejnu bowed. “Then I’m honoured you chose this place to visit.”
“You own this club?” Fine red brows were now crossed in confusion.
“No – the owner owes me though. I consider it my territory,” he said, subtly drawing attention to his cheek markings with a careless gesture down his jawline. “The doms here owe allegiance to me.”
“Oh. Uh...then I guess it’s me who’s honoured, master,” Ren said, bowing and then grimacing as tortured muscles caught.
“Enough of that – where are you staying? And what’s your name?”
“Uh – Inn Adilz and... um, Tik.”
“Very well, Umtik, let me sweep you back to your residence, and safe to bed.”
“I could walk....”
“Umtik....”
“It’s just Tik,” Ren said, not sounding convinced himself. Tejnu wondered why he had chosen his friend’s name, but then he wouldn’t be the first to use a fake one in Jlala.
“Yes, I’m sure,” he said with a knowing look, and Ren at least had the grace to blush and not pretend he didn’t know that Tejnu knew. “Are you ready to go? You really can stay here as long as you like – there are rooms upstairs where you can rest.”
“No...just want to go.”
“Then follow me.”
Ren’s eyes widened when he saw the vahn. “All this for just you?” he said, taking in the size and model. It had been Tejnu’s choice – he’d known Mori thought it was too much, but he’d been young and rather vain, and wanted to show off his vow-brother to best advantage. Mori hardly ever rode in it. It had been a waste of time from that point of view, but it was still a beautiful thing to behold.
“Me, the boyfriend and however many intimate friends we choose to be with,” Tejnu said with a deliberate leer, enjoying the flush that rose across Ren’s beautiful features, even if it was an outrageous lie and the vahn was mostly used to ferry clients and contractors from the port and airship base. Tejnu used it in the evenings because he liked to be able to drink if he felt like it, and it really was a comfortable ride. “Hop in.”
Ren settled gingerly on the deep leather seat – his arse would be sore, of course. “I ride a two-wheel at home,” he volunteered.
“Ugh, how uncomfortable. And in the weather you get in Pindone? Are you insane?”
The first real smile Tejnu had seen, crossed Ren’s lips. “Possibly. But it’s a lot of fun. You don’t know what you’re missing.”
“I relish my ignorance.” He gave the signal to Walus, his driver, to move on. “I know you’re tired, but if you’ve not been here before, there’s a beautiful view of the city from the headland that you might enjoy.” Ren became wary again – Tejnu laid a hand on his arm and sent calming impulses until he felt the other man relax. He had to be careful though – empaths were normally pretty adept at noticing changes in their moods, and this one was especially cautious. “I would consider it an honour to show an officer in the Pindoni army such a treat.”
“Not army,” Ren said, sizing him up and then making a decision. “All right – but no funny stuff, Teji. I’m trained to kill and I’ve done it.”
The memory that went along with the words was nauseating, but Tejnu merely smiled, and fanned himself. “Oooh, if you knew how hot the threat of violence gets me....” Ren snorted and Tejnu grinned. “No ulterior motive, Umtik, I swear. Other than the pleasure of the company of a devastatingly handsome visitor to my favourite city, and wanting to make sure you’re completely okay before I send you back to your inn. Humour me?” he said, giving Ren the benefit of his most winsome expression, the one that worked on everyone but Mori.
Ren shrugged, relaxed minutely. “All right. I...haven’t done much sightseeing.”
Tejnu knew that to be true, but then the man hadn’t come here for the sights. He was running, and Liovinq was as far from where the people – the person – he was running from, as he could get, at least quickly. “Then allow me to rectify that, and show you my lovely home. Up to the cliffs,” he said into the communicator. Walus nodded and the vahn changed direction.
Ren held himself stiff, clearly readying himself for an attack. Tejnu pretended not to notice. “Would you like a drink?”
“Here?”
Tejnu tapped the cabinet. “Fully stocked. What’s the fun of a playpen without refreshments?”
“Are you trying to get me drunk?” Ren snapped, glaring suspiciously.
“Mind your manners, dear. I asked you if you wanted a drink. Not the bottle. I have juice if you’d like. I’m always thirsty after a scene, don’t know about you.”
Ren looked abashed. “Sorry...look, I had some bad experiences recently....”
Tejnu put his hand back on Ren’s arm. “Yes, I can tell from the way you’re behaving,” he said, infusing his voice and his touch with warm sympathy. “I have a lover, Ren. You’re a beautiful creature, but really...I wasn’t there tonight looking for a fuck.”
“What were you looking for?”
“Truthfully? I wanted to belt someone hard. But then I saw you, and I got caught up in that.” He gave his most disarming smile. “I feel much better than if I had belted someone – isn’t that odd?”
“Yeah.” Ren smiled back uncertainly. “Your boyfriend doesn’t mind?”
“Not at all.” He was long practiced at keeping his voice and his emotions calm when he talked about Mori. “He’s not into this – I’m sure you realise this isn’t uncommon. I always go home to him.”
“You’re lucky.” Ren’s voice was rough, and Tejnu knew the worthless ‘Dek’ was in his thoughts again.
“I know. So...would you like a drink, or I can ask Walus to stop off and buy you something straight from the store.”
“What do you have?”
Tejnu smiled. “Wine, beer, qozo, temlido....”
“Not temlido,” Ren snapped. “Uh....”
“Bad associations?” Ren nodded minutely. “Well, the wine is cold, and I do recommend it. It’s imported just for us.”
“That’s fine.”
He was all stiff and wary again. Tejnu expected nothing less, considering. With the ease of long practice, he opened the bottle and poured two glasses of the best stuff they had on board, worth three hundred paens a bottle before Royal tax – not that Mori would begrudge him, even if Ren hadn’t been the Dual Soul. Conscious of Ren’s gaze, he took a long, deliberate sip from one glass before handing it to his companion. “Now we both die horribly.”
Ren actually laughed. “I wasn’t really expecting you to poison me.”
“Getting you drunk would send even my lover bankrupt, so that’s out. I guess I’ll have to overpower you with the force of my mind.” He regretted the mistake instantly as Ren went white, and the hand holding the glass shook so much, some of the wine spilled. He caught Ren’s wrist and steadied him. “Easy, easy. Just a joke.”
“Not to me,” Ren said in a thin, tight voice. He pulled Tejnu’s fingers off his wrist, and then brought the glass to his lips. “I wasn’t always like this,” he said, then took a long swallow of the wine, as if he was trying to wash a taste out of his mouth.
Tejnu waited until Ren looked a little calmer, and colour had come back into his cheeks. “You know, my dear man – using our kink as therapy is fine so far as it goes, but it does mean you’ve left yourself no place where you can go that isn’t about your problem.” Ren avoided his eyes. “I take it you’ve tried talking to people?”
“Some. It wasn’t much use.”
“And I take it...the force of someone’s mind was involved? A telepath.”
Now those green eyes, full of coldness, were turned on him. “Yes. I hate them. Hate what they can do, hate how they can...twist someone. Hate that they....”
Silently Tejnu topped up his glass. They were pulling up to the viewpoint at the cliffs – Walus knew where he liked to park. The vahn’s lights were dimmed and they were left with just a small lamp over the bar for their only illumination. Tejnu didn’t need to see Ren’s face – all he had to do was move closer, touch thighs, and then he knew everything that was going through Ren’s tired, tense brain. “Look,” he whispered, pointing through the window at the lights of the city, and the moonlight over the sea. Unbidden, he put his hand on Ren’s. “Sometimes, in great pain, all you can do is find the beauty and hold tight.”
“There is no beauty in my world, Teji.”
“Looked in the mirror lately, pretty one?” He felt Ren’s thigh tense, as if for flight, read the thoughts of disgust and shame. “Whatever happened to you, doesn’t take your beauty away, Tik. You’re still alive. The beauty is where you make it.”
“I’m not really in a place to create anything now.”
“No, I suppose not.” He turned to Ren, letting the dim light from the bar shine on his face. “But pain doesn’t last, my pet. Good or bad, eventually it ends. Humans can’t sustain it forever. You either get past it or you die. You’re not dead. You’ll get past it.”
“You know absolutely nothing of what happened to me,” Ren growled.
“No, and I don’t want to, unless you need to talk it out. I can guess, though. I guess it involved unwilling sex...perhaps something more...?” Ren wasn’t giving anything away, but Tejnu knew the truth, knew it wasn’t just forced sex, not by any means, though the details were confused, partly because Ren was blocking a lot of the actual memories. “And it was at the hands of a telepath, which meant the mind fuck really was rape. So now you are using masochism to try and drown the hurt, but it doesn’t work, not for very long, does it?” Ren’s mouth could have been carved from stone, so set and hard was it. “You’re not the first,” he said gently. “And the approach has its merits. But you know, it’s not really fair to use a young fellow like Ziko for that. He can’t handle it.”
“So you’re offering.”
Tejnu shook his head, even as he cupped Ren’s face. “No, not that it’s not a temptation. You won’t find the answer in this, pretty one, and all you’re doing is destroying something which once gave you nothing but pleasure. I would give you pleasure, but not at the price of adding to your pain.” Ren jerked, and Tejnu realised that this ‘Dek’ had said something almost identical to Ren. So where was the bastard?
“I need the pain. I need...something. I tried...this,” he said, jerking the glass up and making the wine slosh. “Tried sex, tried talking....”
“Tried time?”
“It’s been three months.”
“Not long, sweet one. Look – I’ve known several men, and not a few women, who’ve been assaulted. It takes longer than that.”
“I know that,” Ren snapped. “I’m a fucking cop. I arrest rapists all the time.”
“Did you arrest this one?”
“No. I...killed him.”
“Good. He needed killing.”
He heard the breath leaving Ren’s body. “Teji – why are you talking to me about this? You know nothing about me.”
“I’m looking after you, sweet one, like I said. Seeing you home safe. I’m in no hurry, and I wanted to show you the sights. I don’t need to be a telepath to know you’ve got a demon on your back. For a start, you didn’t get hard once during the scene. Anyone using kink for real punishment, has a problem potentially. I like to help fellow players,” he said, his expression as open as he could make it, because apart from meaning ‘talents’ instead of players, he was telling the literal truth. “But if it’s not helping....”
Ren was silent for a few moments. Tejnu tried not to listen to what he could read in the other man’s thoughts, because it made it hard to have a natural conversation with him, but it wasn’t easy. Ren had no shields at all, which was utterly criminal. If the man was terrified of telepaths – with good reason, though it pained Tejnu to admit it – then why the hell hadn’t he been offered that rudimentary protection by his bloody employers? The Pindonis were absolute idiots when it came to their paranormals, treated them like shit, branded them like criminals. It was a wonder any of them stood for it at all.
“You are helping,” Ren finally said, the words slow and careful. “Really strange that you are. People have tried. Lots of people have.”
“Maybe you’re just more receptive, because of the scene.” He stroked his hand up and down Ren’s bare arm. “Do you never come now?”
“I....” His lips clamped shut, and the unhappiness was back in his shadowed eyes and in his thoughts. “For a while, that was okay. I was with someone, someone who cared...but we broke up. Broke that too,” he said, then grimaced. “Shit, listen to me. Teji, you don’t need to hear this garbage, seriously. Just take me home, let me sleep this off. I make myself sick when I get like this.”
“You don’t make me sick, sweet one, and you don’t shock or disgust me. More wine?”
“Not a good idea.”
Tejnu paused in the act of topping up his own glass, then sighed. “Perhaps not,” he agreed, sealing the bottle and putting it away. “How long since you broke up with your lover?”
Ren made a throaty sound of regret, of pain. “Three weeks. We were visiting his family and I kinda...freaked out on them. His sister-in-law’s a TP. I kinda...made a fool of myself,” he said grimly. “Had to get out of there. Decided to take a break down south. I heard Liovinq was a pretty wild place.”
“It can be,” Tejnu agreed with a smile. “And when you go home?”
“Dunno. I got offered a new job. I need to decide if I want to take it up. Need to decide if I want to stay in the same place.” He rubbed his eyes tiredly. “I guess I was hoping to take a break from thinking about it tonight. Thought it might help me sleep.”
Tejnu squeezed his arm in apology. “I might be able to help with that,” he said in a low voice.
Ren went tense immediately. “Uh...look, I can’t...I don’t want....”
“Shhh, I’m not offering to go back with you. But I can help you sleep.” He tapped on the communicator. “Walus, drive until I tell you to stop – fast and smooth.”
“Right you are, sir.”
Tejnu flicked another switch, and the windows went dark – he soothed the instinctive panic that rose in Ren at his actions. “Easy – just for privacy. The speed is for you, sweet one. The vibrations are...calming. You can hit that communicator any time you want and ask Walus to stop.”
“Teji, what are you doing?”
“Helping you get ready to sleep, I told you. You didn’t come – I take that as a personal affront,” he said, cupping Ren’s face gently and staring into his eyes.
“You weren’t running the scene,” Ren breathed.
“My trainee, my responsibility. And my pleasure,” he added, moving closer.
“Teji, I can’t...it’s too soon.”
Feeling so much loyalty to an empty one, it’s ridiculous, Tejnu thought with a sigh. He sat back, took his hands off Ren entirely. “Then you’ll have to restore my honour for me, sweet one.”
“I don’t understand.”
“It’s simple. You touch yourself, I’ll watch.”
“We’re in public!”
Tejnu rolled his eyes. “No one can see through the windows, not that there’s anyone to see through them anyway, and Walus isn’t looking or interested. He’s listening to some inane sports skim. Dear one, are you a prude under that fabulous exterior?” In the dark, he couldn’t see Ren’s flush, but he could almost hear it. “An hour ago you were sucking cock in front of twenty people.”
“That was different.”
Tejnu cupped Ren’s cheek again, but this time, less gently, making him face Tejnu. “Yes, because you were trying to hurt yourself, punish yourself, weren’t you? It’s fine if you don’t enjoy it, is that what you tell yourself?”
Ren jerked his head angrily out of Tejnu’s grasp. “I’ve had enough,” he said, jabbing his finger toward the communicator button.
“Wait...please. I’m sorry,” Tejnu said, sincere regret in his tone, keeping his hands carefully off Ren’s body, and cursing his clumsiness. He’d never had to deal with someone quite this broken before and he’d fucked it up.
Ren held his pose for a few moments, his finger hovering uncertainly above the button, before he slumped back. “What do you want from me?” he whispered.
“Nothing, sweet one. I’m sorry. I was only trying to help. I thought if I pushed a little....” He reached for Ren’s hand, was glad there was no resistance to him taking it and lacing his fingers with Ren’s. “I only want you to feel pleasure. Seeing you tonight – it hurt, to see someone in such pain.”
Ren stroked his thumb across the back of Tejnu’s hand, smiled a little. “Maybe you’re the empath.”
“No, sadly not. Just a fellow traveller.” He laid his free hand on Ren’s shoulder and leaned in and up to give Ren a chaste kiss on the cheek. “Let me take you home.”
He heard Ren’s thoughts, confused, surprised, not a little curious, before his companion spoke. “You really want to see me come?”
“You worked so hard tonight, sweet one. I want to reward you.” He sent a little more calm Ren’s way before asking, “Is there anything that would help at all? You only have to say.”
Ren’s eyes bored into him in the dark. “Anything?”
“If it’s in my power, of course. If you just want to go to your inn, let me take you...or....”
“Can this thing go faster? I mean, really, really fast?”
Without hesitation, Tejnu tapped on the comm button. “Walus? Take her out to the main highway and open her up.”
At once, the vahn accelerated, throwing them back in their seat. Tejnu gripped Ren’s arm and felt how the motion had already begun to ease something tight and hard inside the other man. “And now?” he asked in a low voice.
“T-touch me?”
“Of course. You show me where and how.” He put his hand on Ren’s crotch and rubbed gently, unthreateningly. Ren’s big hand overlaid his, then squeezed, asking for more pressure, which Tejnu gladly gave. For several moments, the only sounds in the vahn were the roar of the road and the wheels, and Ren’s harsh breathing.
Ren’s fingers moved, and Tejnu realised he was fumbling at his fly. Batting his hand away, Tejnu took charge, opening the trousers and freeing a thick and beautiful cock. No doubts about his arousal now. “Oh, sweet one,” he murmured, smiling at his companion, but Ren’s face was tense, bitten lips and wide eyes entirely unreceptive to any humour. Tejnu wrapped one hand around Ren’s erection, and then shifted to his knees, between Ren’s legs. “Mouth or hand?”
Ren pressed his wrist against his lips, and the mumbled words made no sense, so Tejnu dipped into his thoughts and found the answer. “Give your hands,” he said, and when Ren brought them in reach, he pressed them firmly down against the seat, a hard grip around each wrist, a restraint that was a joke in a man Ren’s size, but this was all about illusion. He was right that Ren needed this pretence too, because he relaxed again, his cock bobbing eagerly. Tejnu put his lips against it, tasting. Ren sighed – more like a groan. When Tejnu took him in, Ren shivered, and the muscles in his arms bunched, as if trying to break Tejnu’s hold, but he wasn’t actually trying to get away. He thrust a little, unconsciously, into Tejnu’s mouth, and Tejnu smiled to himself around the heavy cock. I can make this so good for you, sweet one, he thought, and began to suck carefully, using his tongue to tease the head, the slit, all the time keeping up a relentless, almost painful pressure on Ren’s wrists.
Ren was breathing so hard, like he had while he was being flogged, but Tejnu knew he wasn’t in pain. He wasn’t in pleasure either, not yet – his thoughts were still too messy, too full of memories and images and junk. No good, Tejnu thought, and even as he applied himself to the worship of this lovely erection, the other part of his brain – the trained, almost clinical part, the one that Mori used without remorse – was working on Ren’s mind, suppressing and slicing, detaching one memory from another, clearing a path through which contentment and peace could travel unimpeded. He tickled Ren’s pleasure centre as he used his teeth, and Ren reared, his thighs tensing, his head thrown back. He choked back a cry, but couldn’t hold it back again when Tejnu repeated the move, thrashing a little as a thin, needy sound – Tejnu would call it a mewl, except adult humans didn’t make sounds like that – escaped his taut lips.
Easy, easy, sweet one, Tejnu thought, sending more calm to Ren’s mind, wanting this to be all pleasure, no pain, to take it slow so that the man would sleep later and not be too wound up for rest. He waited until Ren went a little slack, and then he started to lick gently. It was hard, but not impossible, to do this without using his hands, but the grip on Ren’s wrists was giving his companion too much comfort for Tejnu to change position, and truly, using his mouth was good too. Ren tasted rich, masculine – and his cock was heavy and hot on Tejnu’s tongue. He doubted Ren had any idea how few men Tejnu would do this for, and how rarely, but he didn’t regret this for a second. He allowed himself to slip into Ren’s desire, joining with him so he could feel his own lips, his own mouth on Ren’s body, feel Ren’s slow building climax and the relief, behind the lust, at the cessation of pain. Not a permanent thing, though Tejnu had that power if he dared exercise it, but a holiday from agony that would give Ren strength to face the time ahead. It would take more time than this impatient empath was allowing himself, and Tejnu cursed the so-called friends who were letting Ren push himself so damn hard. Ren needed to be pushed, but to be made to slow down, relax, seek some enjoyment in his sad life. Tejnu could only give him the smallest taste of that now, but he would do what he could.
He got little warning of Ren’s orgasm, only one hard pulse on his tongue and then a flood of familiar taste. He bore down on Ren’s wrists as Ren came and came, and Tejnu drank it all, accepting the gift in his mouth and in his head as Ren gave himself over to pure bodily sensation, thought ablated for a few precious seconds. He kept the hold on Ren’s wrists, though he eased up as Ren stopped coming and his body relaxed. Tejnu licked Ren’s cock a couple more times, just affectionately, then let him go, laying his cheek on Ren’s hip, and enjoying the quiet and peace in Ren’s tired brain. Temporary, needed, all too rare for his companion these days. The rumble of the vahn’s wheels through his knees and legs was almost soothing as he rested, satisfied with a job well done.
He felt Ren trying to free a hand, and he let go immediately. Then he felt that hand on his hair, stroking, patting. “Thank you,” came the hoarse whispered words. “Marra’s nipples, Teji, that was....”
Tejnu looked up. “My pleasure, truthfully, sweet one,” he said with an honest smile.
“You want me to....?”
“And undo all my hard work? Certainly not.” He got off his knees and sat back down next to Ren – Ren’s arm came around his shoulder in a very pleasant hug. A cuddler, how charming – how innocent, in a way. Tejnu let himself enjoy the affection, because he never got enough of it from Mori, and wouldn’t usually allow it from anyone else. “How do you feel, sweet one?”
“I feel good, Teji. Really good.” Ren’s voice was slow, almost drugged. “I...haven’t felt that good in a while.”
“Then that’s a gift to me beyond all measure.” He took Ren’s hand, held it in Ren’s lap, looked up into Ren’s shadowed eyes. “Shall I have Walus drive us to your inn?”
“Can we...just be like this for a bit?”
“Of course.” He tapped the communicator button. “Walus, slow down now, but keep driving.”
“Yes, sir.”
He settled back, and Ren’s hold tightened around his shoulders. “Why are you doing this for me, Teji?”
“Because I can, and because I want to, sweet one. Do you always question when people want to be nice to you? Because I can’t believe I’m the first person to try.”
Ren’s mouth lifted in a sad half-smile. “No, you’re not. But you’re the first to make it stick in a while.”
“It’s a habit to relearn, sweet, like accepting pleasure along with the pain.” He got out his wallet and extracted one of his special cards – the one that just had a symbol on it, no name. “If you feel like going back to Jlala, show them this, and I’ll come. I can make sure you get a scene that suits you precisely – if you don’t want it from me, I’ll get another dom. But you need to be taken in hand, sweet one. You’re too fragile to do it on your own.”
Ren accepted the card, turned it slowly over in his long fingers. “I’m only here for a week.”
“I’m only offering what I can, pretty one. You have to do this yourself, but no one said you can’t have a little help while you’re here.”
Ren tucked the card into his back pocket, then got comfortable again, surprising Tejnu by kissing him on the cheek. “Thank you.” He looked into Tejnu’s eyes. “My name’s Ren.”
“Ah, and here I was thinking your parents must have hated you.”
Ren smiled a little. “No, they don’t.” He closed his eyes. “I’m so tired. Been tired for weeks.”
“Then rest, sweet Ren. I’ll make sure you get home. Rest now.”
Ren sighed and nestled against him, like they were long-time lovers, and not new acquaintances. It stirred something dangerous in Tejnu’s chest, something he had to quickly smack down. If he started down that route, he would end up as miserable and angry as he had been at the start of the evening, and then Ren would sense that, which would spoil what he had wrought. He made himself accept Ren’s embrace and the trust – both gifts the other man would not be offering easily – and set himself on guard, to keep watch until Ren was ready to go. It was an honour he never expected to have, and certainly not this evening. Mori, he thought contentedly, might even be jealous.
They drove through the night a couple of hours longer, Ren dozing and holding his hand. Finally he’d roused and suggested they should head back. Tejnu delivered him to his inn, walking him into Reception and making him promise to get in touch if he needed it – he had no idea if Ren would or not, because Ren didn’t know himself, but Ren kissed his cheek again and thanked him. Then Tejnu watched him walk slowly towards his room, sore shoulders straight, looking a lot less tense and miserable than he had earlier in the evening.
Mori, of course, wasn’t the least bit worried about him coming back so late. He was meditating in his studio, and didn’t even open an eye as Tejnu shucked off his shoes and walked across the mats. “Sit with me, Teji,” Mori said. “Let us be joined.”
Mori was naked as he usually was in this room, but that was no bad thing. He must have been exercising, because his dark skin held a slight sheen of sweat, but he looked relaxed. The air was heavy with sweet oils, and the candles were half burned down – Tejnu loved the way the light played across Mori’s skin, across firm muscles and strong, clean limbs. The most beautiful man he knew, he thought, sighing quietly.
He stripped, folded his play clothes respectfully, then came to sit cross-legged across from Mori. “Close your eyes,” Mori said, though he still hadn’t opened his own and couldn’t see what Tejnu was doing. Only he did, he always did – Mori could read him like words on a page, which only made Tejnu’s humiliating passion for the man more shameful. Mori knew, understood, sympathised – and would never, ever reciprocate.
All the calm he had created this evening dissipated in moments as he watched Mori’s serene expression, knowing that he could do nothing to touch the other man’s heart. He knew the reasons, and yet...he wanted...oh, he wanted....
Mori extended his hand, and though still blind, unerringly found Tejnu’s wrist. “Be still, Teji. Be as one with the communion. Quiet now. Breathe....”
Tejnu didn’t want to breathe, and he didn’t want to be quiet, but he was helpless to resist the least of Mori’s commands, so he made himself relax. Mori’s thumb stroked the back of his hand. “Good, good. Breathe...be as one...be as one....”
Tejnu found himself repeating the mantra. “Be as one...be as one....” Be part of the whole, the whole is part of me. The familiar litany, familiar words, familiar companion, rewove the peace he had spent hours creating for Ren, only this time, it was for himself, for him and Mori together. Dimly he felt the souls of the others, joining with them, all over the world, others of their kin were taking part in this, thinking of their brothers and sisters in spirit. Sometimes, when he was feeling bitter and raw, he mocked the idea of the communion of spirits, but never now, never when Mori was touching him, their breathing in harmony, Mori’s thoughts turned on him, even if it was only him as part of the great body of souls to which they belonged. Mori was right to ask him to meditate with him tonight. He needed this, even if he needed more too. The rest of it...he would have to get used to not having.
He was never sure how long they spent in meditation, until he could look at his timekeeper – it wasn’t long this evening, but Mori could keep it up for hours. He had the mental discipline for it – Tejnu didn’t, and didn’t even want it. He had all the control he needed, and that was more than enough for him.
Mori made them tea, and Tejnu wanted something to eat – it had been a long and draining evening, however rewarding. Mori watched him scarf dried fruit like a starving man. “You look tired – hard night?”
“Do you care?” he snapped, but instantly regretted it. Mori cared – he just didn’t care the way Tejnu wanted. “What do the Electeds’ records show of a telepath called Jiffir hon Kermu?”
Mori blinked, his usual calm expression disturbed momentarily by the abrupt change of subject, but then he went to the viewcom at the side of the dining room and tapped in some commands. “Pindoni citizen, aged fifty-eight – died three months ago of a heart attack.” He raised an eyebrow at Tejnu, waiting for an explanation for the sudden interest.
“Well, that’s weird, because I just spent all evening with a man who thinks he killed Jiffir hon Kermu by breaking his neck.” Mori straightened, and Tejnu couldn’t help a small frisson of pleasure at getting a reaction out of him. “And what’ll really twist your nose hairs is that the man who killed him is Rensire hon Parmin.”
“The Dual Soul? Teji, are you...?”
“Joking, no. You better sit, Mori. It’s a long and ugly story.”
Mori’s elegant eyebrows knitted as Tejnu told him what he’d learned, both during the scene and after, especially during the two hours when Ren’s guard had been completely down, his mind open to Tejnu’s discreet probing. What he had learned during that time had turned his stomach afresh, and if Ren had been more awake, more alert, he’d have realised something was up. Fortunately, he hadn’t suspected a thing and had gone back to his room, blissfully unaware that he’d spent the evening in the company of the kind of person he most loathed. Tejnu couldn’t really condemn him for his fear – after what Jiffir had put him through, it was a wonder Ren was still halfway sane.
Mori was silent for some time after Tejnu finished speaking. Tejnu sipped his tea and thought about the obscenity of paranormals doing horrific things to each other, as if there wasn’t a planet full of empty ones ready to do it for them. He knew in Pindone, the establishment had mindfucked so many of their kind that it was the paranormals who policed their own kind, acted against them instead of the fools who imprisoned them. It was even, incredibly, a paranormal who had come up with the tattoos and the Collars – filthy traitor that he was. The Elected had a list of those who had sinned against their own kind, those to be reviled and shunned for all time for their crimes. Until this evening, Jiffir hon Kermu’s name wouldn’t have been on it – but he was among the worst of them all. To do what he had to any of their kind was an abomination, but to defile the Dual soul – to have destroyed so many empaths, to have broken one of the Higher Elected – surely he had no hope of being reborn now. Some crimes went beyond redemption. Tejnu, less spiritually inclined than Mori and his fellow Highers, wished the man’s death hadn’t been so painless. Ren wished that too, and the wish was part of what was destroying him.
Mori sighed, and reached for the teapot with a slim, fine hand. “We need to help him,” he said. “But we must exercise caution. I’m not convinced hon Kermu was part of the Shadow Kin. It’s not their style.”
“The Reven?”
Mori paused as he poured his tea. “Perhaps.” He frowned a little, and Tejnu squashed the automatic desire to kiss those delicate lines between his shapely brows. It was a punishment surely, to have been given as companion to such an exquisite man who only saw him as a friend, a brother. If only Mori had been ugly, or stupid, or prone to rages. Anything to dull Tejnu’s desire. “First we need to learn more about what went on in Pindone. Are you too tired to work on that tonight?”
“No.” He was tired, but Mori wanted it, that was enough. Oh, Ancestors, he was pathetic, Tejnu thought angrily. “Are you going to contact the council?”
“Yes. In the morning. In fact...let’s do it all then.” Mori’s hand reached over and lay on Tejnu’s forehead like a blessing. “You look worn out. Come to bed, rest.”
Tejnu nearly sighed, and resisted the urge to nuzzle against Mori’s warm skin. Mori was being considerate and thoughtful – same as he would with any pet. He looked after Tejnu’s health because he looked after all his possessions carefully – and Tejnu occupied the same rank of importance as perhaps one of Mori’s more valuable books. But no more than that. “I can still....”
“No, in the morning. Will he be all right on his own?”
“Ren? Tonight, yes. Maybe until he goes back to Tsikeni. But they’re fucking it up, Mori,” he said angrily. “They don’t seem to care what they’re doing, and who it is. They’re fools.”
“Yes,” Mori said calmly. “But they can’t help it – they lack souls. At least he’s extracted himself from that empty one.”
“For now – he still yearns.”
“He can be taught to set aside such yearnings, as we all can.”
Tejnu’s smile was bitter. “Some of us, you mean.”
“We all can, Teji.” He touched Tejnu’s hand. “Come to bed. Would you like to have sex, or did you achieve release tonight?”
He hated, absolutely hated, the way Mori considered sex to just be another one of Tejnu’s little needs, like food and water, to be provided by a kind master for the preservation of good health, and yet he wasn’t strong enough to turn it down because it was Mori. “No, I didn’t get round to getting off,” he said lightly. “I could do with being fucked hard.”
Mori smiled as if his pet had learned a new trick. “As you wish.” He tugged on Tejnu’s wrist. “Come along then.”
It wasn’t enough, Tejnu thought despairingly, staring at the ceiling as Mori drove into him with skill and care and exquisitely cruel kindness. He wanted more than Mori was capable of offering him or probably anyone, like Ren, looking for peace in his kink and only finding a pale compromise. But like Ren, Tejnu could only hang on and take what he could, because he had a choice to either die or survive, and Tejnu wasn’t dead. He could hope one day to find that crack in Mori’s façade that he was sure existed, or find that disdain in himself that would allow him not to care. Until then, he’d take his pleasure in Mori’s body and his care, and the companionship that was freely given within defined limits, and imagine, in the quiet hours of the night with Mori breathing gently against his skin, that the man he loved, loved him back. There were worse dreams to lose oneself in. And far worse places to be.
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The horrific events in Cold Front leave Dek and Ren damaged and estranged, but they can't walk away from the past or each other. Unknown forces take an unseemly interest in them, and they must turn to some unlikely allies for help. Final half of the Pindone Files. Contains the short "Visibility: Good to Poor" and the full novel "Unsettled Conditions". Download for US$ 3.99 |